Long Overdue Update

I am sorry it's been so long since I updated. I have just felt kind of icky lately. My first excuse for not updating was that I had to finish my previous classes and then I was out of town for a week visiting my mom. After I came back I finished up my work days, and that is when things got really funky. I took three days off my last week to be with Rio because Dan was out of town, and I really enjoyed those days at home. I cleaned and hung out with Rio and thought that adjusting to now working was going to be a breeze. I found out on my last Friday that it was not going to be that easy. I cried most of the day, most of that evening, all weekend, and then up through Wednesday of this week. I felt a bit useless and depressed. I missed getting up in the morning and having a purpose. I missed seeing April every day. I missed helping students. I was a mess. On Wednesday I met my Success Center team for lunch and I told Wendy, the director of the SC, that I would love to do my job part time, and she told me that she might be able to make that happen. I have my doubts, but it made me feel better to hear her say that the door was not shut and that maybe one day I would be able to go back to work there. I think that as time goes on I will get accustomed to being home and will not want to work in an office setting any more. I already feel better.

Phoenix is ready to come home. I am just waiting for a decent day to fly him in. It has been really hot here. Yesterday the forecast said that Monday's high is only supposed to be 84°, but today they bumped it up to 89°. I asked his breeder about shipping him on Monday, but she never got back to me and now I'll probably need to wait anyway, although it will not cool down substantially for at least a month, so we will need to find a day in the not-too-distant future. This is the newest picture I have of him. He looks a lot like Rio did at that age. Rio's cheeks are getting much more orange/red now. He is a beautiful boy.

I also have another surprise. I put a deposit down on a baby blue crown conure. I have wanted one since I first saw the movie Paulie years ago, but at that time I thought having a bigger and louder conure would never happen. Now that I have a bigger and louder conure, and since I will be home again, I figured, why not? Phoenix was hatched on May 28^th and Indigo was hatched on June 13^th, so Indie is just a couple of weeks behind Phoenix and should be home in the next couple of weeks. I hope that being about the same age and coming from environments where they hang around with other birds will help to ensure that they get along with each other. Rio might have a harder time since he's been alone for awhile, but since he's so laid back, I am sure he will adjust pretty quickly, especially to another sun.

Other than all that, I have been working on my second-to-last class of my doctoral degree. I have to pass an oral exam before I can move on to my last class, which means I need to be adept at explaining statistical tests, research methods, and theory. I have a lot of work to do in the next couple of weeks, but I think I will be ready. After I pass my next class, I will be ABD (all but dissertation) and I am hoping to be finished with everything by next June. It helps to have a PhD sitting five feet away from me! And on that note, I should go and start working on the assignment I have due on Monday so I can do some house cleaning a bit later. Have a wonderful Saturday!

More Changes

I hope you all had a happy Independence Day. Mine was nice. April, Landon, and Ben came over and I made a bunch of bean dishes for dinner. We ate and drank MangoRitas and beer and played Apples to Apples. I hated having to go to work the next day, but at least Friday was a short day, so it wasn't horrible.

Bubo went to his new home on July 4^th. I put an ad on Craig's List on Monday and within about 15 minutes I had an inquiry. The lady who took him almost fell through, but in the end she decided to drive the hour to come "meet" him, and she left with him and a few supplies that I gave her. She seems happy with him so far, so here is hoping that they bond and become the best of friends.

Rio is so much more relaxed now. He has been more vocal the last couple of days and his real personality is starting to come out now. My favorite thing he does is when he climbs onto my chest, rolls over on his chest and falls asleep. He is definitely one of the sweetest birds I've ever met.

I have been looking for a picture of Jasper when he was a baby. He was so ugly that I was sure there was something wrong with him. I even told the breeder that I wanted my deposit refunded. He finally convinced me that Jasper was fine, and I fell so in love with him over the six years I had him. I cannot find that picture now, but as I look at other pictures of him, I realize that my heart is finally mending. It took six months; a month for every year I had him and a Rio to get to this point, but it is nice to see him and not sob. I still miss him so much, and I suspect that I always will, but I really want to bring his pictures out and put them on my mantle next to his cremation box. I think Bubo being gone helps too. He was a constant reminder of what I lost. Rio is a reminder that there is, indeed, life after sorrow and intense heartbreak. I pray that Phoenix will be a good complement to Rio, because I want Rio to have a friend.

I got some updated pictures of Phoenix tonight. OMGOODNESS, he is so cute! He looks a lot like Rio. He is definitely a sun and not a sunday conure. I pray that his personality is similar to Rio's. I will be beside myself if they get along like Jasper and Avery did!

Dan is working on a play stand right now. Our next door neighbor cut down a chunk of his crape myrtle tree, so we asked if we could snag the branches. We went to Lowe's and spent about $80 on the things we needed that we didn't have, and today he got it mostly assembled. His plan is to make two larger stands and a couple of small portable ones, so the $80 price tag is not bad. They sell for over $150 for one on Amazon and Ebay, so that price for two is a bargain. I'm lucky to have a handy husband.

My final piece of news I have is that I officially gave my notice at work yesterday. I gave an entire month notice, and my last day will be August 9^th. I really do have mixed feelings about leaving, but I am sure that once Monday the 12^th rolls around, I will be thankful that I don't have to fight morning traffic (as light as it tends to be) or fight Rio when I try to get out of the house. I am also looking forward to having time to cook healthy meals, clean house, and work on my dissertation--oh, and go camping! I will also have time to go to the beach and take walks again. There are only a few things I will miss about working. I will miss seeing April every day, I will miss Billie, and I will miss helping students. It really does give me a sense of accomplishment. But in time, I will have a teaching job again and I will pick up where I left off.

Coming Soon: Another New Baby

So far nothing has changed at work. I am adjusting to my new arrangement, but the fact that leadership does not seem to care that I am isolated from the rest of the groups makes me angry. I have decided that I will stick things out for awhile longer, but I may elect to quit at the end of summer, maybe after Labor Day. I really should quit so I can focus on my dissertation, anyway. I finished my two classes today and now I only have two left before I enter the dissertation phase. In my next class, I will be required to take a comprehensive exam in which I will be required to answer questions about a research article and be able to explain the statistics and research methodologies. I have about three months to prepare, so I should do fine, but it is a bit nerve racking to think about it.

I found out today that Bubo is pulling Rio's feathers out. I noticed that he was missing some feathers on his neck and today I caught Bubo red-beaked. Dan had decided that he didn't want to give Bubo up, but today he said it would be best to rehome him. I am sad that he is so high strung and won't calm down. He can be sweet, but he is really an odd bird. Rio is so sweet and laid back, and I think he would do great with another bird that has a similar personality. The other day Dan told me that he wants me to get another sun conure from the breeder I got Rio from. I messaged her to ask if she had any suns left, and she said she had a new clutch that had not been DNA tested yet. She also said she had a waiting list, but since she likes to choose her birds' homes based on quality rather than place in line, she said she'd bump me to second place for a boy. Well, the DNA came back and there was only one boy out of the four, but the person ahead of me who originally wanted a boy decided he or she liked the hybrid sun/jenday instead, so she let me put a deposit down on the boy! I am very excited. He will be ready around the end of August, which is a horrible time to fly a bird to the South, but I am hopeful that we will have at least a few nicer days at the beginning of September. This is a picture of my new boy (the one being held). His name is going to be Phoenix.

Rio is doing great. He seems to be all settled in and happy. He also eats really well. I made chop last weekend and he eats it like a champ. He really likes the mung beans I sprouted, so today I mixed them in with the chop and after he ate the beans, he went to town eating the veggies. He ate most of what was in his bowl and bunch that was in Bubo's bowl. He is such a clown, too. He loves to roll over on his back and have his belly scratched. He just doesn't do it often because he doesn't feel safe with Bubo around. I try to give him plenty of alone time so he can relax. Fortunately, Bu doesn't mind being alone.

In other news, we finally were notified that our camper keys were in, so we drove a half an hour to pick them up, went to the camper to try them out, and voila! THEY DON'T WORK! I knew exactly why, too. We have a keyless entry lock and the keys the ordered are for a standard RV lock. The key we had before was closer to what we needed than what they ordered. I actually found a supplier on Amazon that cuts RV keys for the lock we have and ordered a couple. I pray this words, because if it doesn't, we will have to buy a new lock.

I am looking forward to the short week. Things should be fairly quiet at work this week because we are between sessions, but the new session starts on Wednesday, so next week will likely be normal again. Our two new specialists started on Wednesday and hopefully they will be trained up with a month. Until then, I will just put my head down and trudge forward.

Moody

I think I am going through menopause, and although I generally feel normal, I have noticed that I feel a bit more weepy than normal over really stupid stuff. Obviously, since the first of the year I've cried way more than normal, but after bringing Rio home, the water works shut off for the most part. He is exactly what my heart needed to start healing, and I am so thankful for him. But at work yesterday I teared up several times. We have gotten really busy in my department, so leadership finally secured a new position. But then a girl I worked with quit, so they hired two new people. There are currently eight writing specialist and a supervisor, and there are 10 cubicle spots in the area. With two new people coming, that makes 11 people and only 10 spots. There was an empty cubicle on the math side, so leadership asked me if I would be willing to move there. I told them that was fine (what else could I honestly say?), and so I moved there Wednesday afternoon. Thursday and yesterday, I felt miserable. I am not an extrovert by any stretch of the imagination, but I feel so isolated and lonely over there and I cried a few times. The director asked me how it was going yesterday and I told her I don't like it. She said she was going to talk to the assistant director, but I told her not to make a fuss. After all, someone has to sit there. There were two better choices besides me in my mind, though. One is the supervisor. Rarely do supervisors sit with their teams; they are usually in offices. The other is a writing specialist who helps out with the Office of Disability Services (ODS), and the cubicle I was moved to is right next to the ODS specialist.

Anyway, I saw Wendy talking to Jonathan and Crystal (the assistant director and the supervisor), and afterward, Crystal came and talked to me. Rather than saying they were going to try to move me back, she assured me that I was welcome to come to the other side of the wall and join the conversation anytime I wanted to and that if I really hated it after a few days, they would put a table in the back for me to sit at. That did not help at all. I sat at my desk hardly able to work and contemplating giving my two weeks notice. I know it's irrational and that I will eventually adjust, but I cannot help but feel like I have been relegated to time-out for being naughty. I figured I was chosen because I am low man on the totem pole, but the new people are getting better seating arrangements than I have and it makes me feel neglected and unappreciated. They told me they chose me because I am independent, but I think that is a load of crap.

Billie has been awesome, though. She came and talked to me several times and asked me if I wanted her to switch with me. I told her no because she is the training coordinator and she has to be on the other side to train the new people. Then she asked to switch her lunch so that we could go together. I have sat next to her for a year and part of me was happy to get away from her because she often keeps me from being as productive as I could be, but I was less-than-productive yesterday and the day before. I miss her way more than I thought I would.

Last night Dan and I went to dinner with April, Landon, Ben, Nicole, and Peter. Nicole is a writing specialist and Dan and Peter work together on faculty stuff and are friends. Anyway, I told Nicole about my experience and she told me that she overheard Crystal talking to Brett, the only guy writing specialist, and she thought that maybe Crystal was asking him if he would be willing to switch spots with me, although she wasn't sure because she had her headphones on. I do not know what came of the situation other than Nicole thought he said he wouldn't mind, but I am afraid to get my hopes up too much. I think Wendy will definitely try to get things changed for me, though. I honestly do not want to quit my job. Never in my life have I had a job that I wanted to hang onto until now. But being relegated to the outer darkness is very depressing, and if I am doomed to stay there, I will quit sooner than later. I may wait until the new people are trained and then give my notice, which should be a little over a month from now.

I have no idea if it is hormones or just my personality, but I really hate feeling this way. 2019 has not been a kind year to me. It has been unkind to a lot of people, and I know a lot of people have bigger problems than I do, but I am ready for 2020 to get here. I pray that the end of 2019 isn't as horrible as the beginning has been.